There are many who believe the wife should submit and obey every word spoken by the husband; on another hand, there are also women who obey every single word spoken by their husband without understanding, hence the blind leading the blind into darkness where there is no light or understanding. The word of God is very clear as to how we should follow and obey, submitting to one another in love.The church has suffered from a lack of love and understanding, not a lack of submission. The plan of God for every marriage is intertwined in love and submission. Either one (love and submission) should not stand alone for too long, although agape love will never fail. The husband is commanded to love his wife and the wife is commanded to submit to her husband. However, the husband is also commanded to submit to his head, which is Christ. Hence, the obedience of the husband is in submission to Christ and then to love his wife; and the wife is to submit to her husband… and where there is love, there is submission (doing all things in love and order).
The Mystery of Divine Submission In Marriage
The mystery of true submission is that the man must first submit under Christ and then the woman aligns. The man is to love the woman as Christ loves the church. So whether the woman submits or not, he is to love her with the love of Christ, not of profession or flesh (but as Christ loves the church). Now to the woman, love cultivates submission. When the man loves the woman he is gentle, patient, believing all:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (! Corinthians 13)
Submission and Obedience
Submission and Obedience are two different things, they can work together in agreement or work apart from each other. In other words, a woman can be submissive (attitude) but not obedient (act) to a contrary word. Every sincere woman wants to submit to her husband, but if she doest know the truth, she will sheepishly follow him to a wrong path. Submission is an attitude; but where there is submission there is obedience; and obedience is an act. The obedience can be to the husband (under Christ or in the Lord) or to Christ alone (if the command is contrary to truth). The woman can be submissive to her husband (willing to come under his authority) but not expected to sheepishly obey every word that he speaks because the authority spoken of here is not of slavery or of blindness, but of truth. She must also remember that she is there to help him also, hence if his command is contrary to the will and word of God she can gently decline in love and understanding and still be submitted to him. She is also expected to continuously offer up prayer (even for him) if he is setting himself against the will of God in his leadership.
Husband, Head, Leadership
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, to make her holy.
The husband is to lead the wife in a holy direction for this is the plan and purpose of God. If the man has gone astray, he will also lead the woman astray and that is not the plan of God. Every sincere woman of God wants to submit (in the case of a husband) but if the husband insists on leading the woman to hell, this is what I will preach to her: RUN!! It’s not worth your eternity.
Husband, Wife, work together. The husband is not greater than Christ and should not think of himself as such in exercising authority. The wife on the other hand is there to help him also in the will of God. If you can both come to an understanding in the Lord, the husband loving the wife (even in obeying Christ) and the wife submitting to her husband in love, then this exemplifies the will and purpose of God for your lives.